If you are facing an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, this may be a stressful time where you will need to make some difficult decisions. It is good to remember that there are options and support that are available to you. You are not alone.
In making decisions about any pregnancy, there are different options to consider:
- Continuing the pregnancy and parenting the child (see Pregnancy Choices below)
- Having an abortion to end the pregnancy
- Continuing the pregnancy, and choosing adoption, kinship or foster care (see Pregnancy Choices below)
Not all women and gender diverse people feel the need to seek advice from a counsellor or health practitioner to help them make their decision. However there are support services and information available to help you make the right decision for you.
The advice you receive should be non-directive, non-judgmental and respectful. Remember that it is your choice to continue or end a pregnancy.
Sexual Health and Family Planning ACT: provides free non-directive, all options pregnancy counselling services for women and gender diverse people in the ACT.
Phone: 6247 3077
A word of caution
It is important that the counselling you access is pro-choice, non-judgmental and non-directive. Some organisations offering unplanned pregnancy support or counselling may misrepresent their service when advertising or on their websites.
Always check that any support or counselling service is a genuine pro-choice, non-directive service. One way of checking is to ask if they will give you information about abortion services if needed. A non-directive service will always do this.
PREGNANCY CHOICES
Read more »Parenting
Choosing to continue a pregnancy and parent the baby is a common choice for an unplanned pregnancy. If you choose to continue a pregnancy, you should make an appointment with a GP to confirm your pregnancy and provide antenatal care.
More information about the steps to take if you decide to continue a pregnancy and receive care from ACT’s public maternity system are available from Canberra Health Services.
Abortion
For more on abortion, see our Abortion in the ACT page.
Adoption, kinship or foster care
If you are not able to care the for child but wish to continue the pregnancy, adoption, kinship or foster care are when a child is cared for by someone else on a permanent or temporary basis.
Adoption is when the legal rights and responsibilities for the child are transferred on a permanent basis to someone else.
Kinship care is when a member of your family or cultural community cares for the child.
Foster care is when someone you do not know cares for the child. Foster carers are professionally trained.
For more information on adoption, kinship or foster care in the ACT, see ACT Community Services.
DEALING WITH AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
Read more »Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be a very stressful and confusing. Shock is a common experience when you first realise that you are pregnant, even if you already suspected it. You might find that you feel unable to think clearly and may experience a lot of mixed emotions. The feeling of shock may continue for some days after you first find out.
Feelings of uncertainty and ambivalence are also very common, and this can even occur when a pregnancy has been planned. An unplanned pregnancy can be particularly difficult if you are feeling uncertain about what decision you will make about the pregnancy, or if your thoughts and feelings about what you want to do differ from that of your partner, or the other person involved in the pregnancy.
Emotions generally can be quite intense during pregnancy. This is thought to be due to the effect of pregnancy hormones. You may experience mood swings and may become upset more easily. This can make dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and making a very important decision like this more challenging.
Self-care
It’s very important to remember to look after yourself during a difficult and stressful time. Take time out from focussing on the decision. Nurture yourself by taking time to relax, to rest and to do some of the things that you enjoy and that nourish you, such as taking a bath or going for a long walk. Practising self-compassion, meaning kindness towards yourself, is also very important.
Talking to someone close who you trust and who you know will support you in whatever decision you might make can also be helpful.
If violence and control are factors in your unplanned pregnancy, or decision-making, there are services available to support you to be safe and to make a decision:
1800 Respect: provides 24/7 confidential counselling support, information and referrals, including for reproductive abuse.
Phone: 1800 737 732
Online chat: https://www.1800respect.org.au/
Sexual Health and Family Planning ACT: provides free non-directive, all options pregnancy counselling services for women and gender diverse people in the ACT.
Phone: 6247 3077
Domestic Violence Crisis Service: 24/7 crisis line for anyone who is experiencing, or has experienced, domestic and family violence.
Phone: 6218 0900
MAKING A DECISION ABOUT AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
Read more »For some women and gender diverse people, having to make a decision about whether to continue a pregnancy or not can be relatively straightforward. For others it may be a very difficult decision depending on their individual circumstances.
Some of the factors you may want to consider, include:
- The state and stability of the relationship with the other person involved.
- The level of support you may have from family or friends.
- Whether or not you feel ready to take on a parenting role.
- The needs of children you may already have.
- Career, study, housing, and financial considerations.
- Your life plans and goals.
- Your state of physical and emotional health.
- Your beliefs and values.
Unless you are completely clear about what you are going to do, you may wish to take seek some support or take some time to make a decision. Remember though, this is a time sensitive decision and you may need to make a decision relatively quickly if your pregnancy is at a later gestation. (Gestation means the number of weeks a woman or gender diverse person has been pregnant).
Consider the different options and factors impacting on your decision. It can be helpful to reach out to family members, friends, and if you are in a relationship where you feel safe, you may want to talk it through with your partner. You may also wish to find out more of their views on abortion, adoption or kinship and foster care before confiding in them if you are unsure about how they feel about these choices.
For more questions to ask yourself, and information on making a decision, see Children by Choice.
Making a decision with a partner
If you have a partner, you may want to include them in the decision-making process.
It may be helpful to spend some time thinking about what you want before talking to your partner.
You might want to involve your partner in the decision; or just tell them about the decision that you have made. You may just want to make time to listen to each other’s views even if you feel they will not support your decision.
When you do talk about it as a couple, make sure that you allow focused time to do this, and agree to taking turns to listen to each other fully and respectfully. This can help you both feel heard.
Remember, the final decision is yours as the person who is pregnant.
If you find that it is difficult to make a decision, or you would like to talk it through with somebody to clarify your thoughts and feelings, counselling may be helpful for you.
Sexual Health and Family Planning ACT: provides free non-directive, all options pregnancy counselling services for women and gender diverse people in the ACT.
Phone: 6247 3077
REPRODUCTIVE ABUSE
Read more »Some women and gender diverse people are pressured by partners, family or others to become pregnant, or to have an abortion. This is called reproductive abuse (or reproductive violence or coercion) and it is a form of gender-based violence.
It is the right of any woman or gender diverse person who can carry a pregnancy to choose to become pregnant, or to continue or end a pregnancy.
If you or someone you know needs support for reproductive abuse, you can contact the following services for support:
1800 Respect: provides 24/7 confidential counselling support, information and referrals, including for reproductive abuse.
Phone: 1800 737 732
Online chat: https://www.1800respect.org.au/
Sexual Health and Family Planning ACT: provides free non-directive, all options pregnancy counselling services for women and gender diverse people in the ACT.
Phone: 6247 3077
Domestic Violence Crisis Service: 24/7 crisis line for anyone who is experiencing, or has experienced, domestic and family violence.
Phone: 6218 0900
